


Countdown

by Janet_Coleman_Sides



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s02e21 Deadlock, F/M, First Kiss, Last Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-25 01:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janet_Coleman_Sides/pseuds/Janet_Coleman_Sides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kathryn Janeway has five minutes to live. This is my take on the Voyager episode "Deadlock": what went through her mind?...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Countdown

"Warning. Auto destruct sequence initiated. Warp core breach in four minutes, fifty-five seconds. There will be no further audio warning."

Kathryn Janeway sat back in her chair, inhaled through her nose. Her heart was pounding, and why not? She had, after all, fewer than five minutes to live. 

She gripped the armrests and wondered in a flicker of morbid hysteria if she would feel it when every molecule in her body and brain vaporized. The scientist in her said no, but she didn't have time to listen to the scientist anymore. 

She glanced to her left, and there was Chakotay, pondering her as he often did, as if nothing were amiss, dark eyes gleaming calmly over that private little smile. 

She found an answering smile quirking at her lips, and suddenly it was all right. She would end, but her other self, on the other ship, had promised to bring the crew home -- and Kathryn knew that she would keep her word. 

She glanced down at the little screen on her console, blinking funereal black and red, marking the deathwatch. Four minutes. She reached out and shut off the display. Four minutes was enough. 

Kathryn had had a friend at the Academy whose passion was comedy. She had proudly played numerous audio selections for Kathryn, and one of them was nagging at her memory now. She couldn't remember who the comedian had been, or what era or planet he was from (though the friend had known and announced these things down to the last detail). 

The selection had concerned a "two minute warning" that people supposedly heard before they died. The comedian had suggested a number of hilarious ways to spend your final moments, but then added, "Give a speech. Everyone has a two minute speech in them. Something you know, something you love...Two minutes." 

Something you know. Something you love. Yes, of course. 

"Chakotay," she said, as always carefully pronouncing each syllable to preserve the smoky, exotic sound of his name. 

His eyes, so deep and dark, seemed to surround her with their light, excluding everything and everyone else on the Bridge. Time dilated, infusing the planes of his face with a surreality so acute that he looked like a painting by Rembrandt. 

"Kathryn," murmured Chakotay, eyes roving her face as if committing it to memory. 

Unaccountably, she blushed at the sound of her given name in his mouth, then immediately felt foolish for it. There was no more time for nonessentials like rank or protocol. She knew that, but he had never said it before, and she longed for him to say it again. 

There was so much she wanted to tell him. Where could she begin to begin? _The first time I saw you I felt a shift inside, a change of balance, the heat of homecoming...?_ or _when I think of Seska hurting you, using you, I feel that I could reach through impossible distances of space to grab her by the hair and cut her throat?_

She strove desperately to speak, but she was so crowded with words that none of them could fit through her mouth. And he sat regarding her, that little smile fading now, listening in somehow to the turmoil of confessions that held her silent. 

How much time now? How much time had she wasted? 

Her torrent of thoughts was halted in abrupt confusion as Chakotay stood up. Her eyes tracked his motion, but he only stood there, the serene smile once again in place, and rather than crane her neck back to gawk at him she felt she should stand too. 

As she did, standing next to Chakotay there on her doomed Bridge, she wondered when she was supposed to experience the fabled phenomenon of one's life passing before one's eyes. 

And then, absurdly, in her mind's ear she heard it. It was a memory, a clear arrow of recollection back to that evening at the Academy, listening to comedy recordings with Ophell Tzarik. She heard the man's gravelly voice, heard the slight echoing acoustics of the audience hall in which it had been recorded. 

_Two minutes. Get your shit together..._

Unable to stop herself, Kathryn Janeway laughed aloud. 

Chakotay quirked an eyebrow at her, his smile slowly morphing into a more puzzled version. It didn't last very long. As soon as the brief bubble of laughter released her, she stepped in close to him, snaked her hand round the back of his neck, and pulled him down to her upturned mouth. 

His arms encircled her instantly, crushing her close as their mouths met, a little too hard: fleetingly, she tasted blood. She did not care. There was no time, and she had wanted to do this for too long. His short-cropped hair prickled at her fingertips, and the astonishing heat of his body flared around her like the corona of a star. 

The smell and taste of him made her moan low in her throat. The initial clumsy frenzy abated, she found his kiss thrilling, alive with the patient strength that was Chakotay. He clutched her against him as if to suggest that even a core breach could not separate her atoms from his now, cradling her head in one big palm. 

It was a pity there was no time for more. But it was enough. 

They had only just paused for breath, smiling into each other's eyes, when the lift doors swished open and a pack of half-melted horrors swarmed onto her Bridge. Instantly they stepped back from one another, turning to face the threat. Kathryn glanced at the helm display, saw what was left of the countdown. 

She felt Chakotay squeeze her hand. The warmth transmitted through that simple touch wrenched a smile of triumph from Kathryn. 

She grinned at the invaders like a wolf. 

"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway," she said to them, barely able to keep from crowing. She sent a silent prayer of _gods-speed_ to her twin. 

"Welcome to the Bridge." 

She had just enough time to squeeze Chakotay's hand in return before the end.


End file.
